Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Not Sure

One funny thing about being the pastor's wife is that you have to be friends with everybody.
You don't get to choose your friends.
Isn't that strange? Everyone else gets to pick their friends.
In our church community we encourage natural, genuine friendship, though we expect and challenge everyone to show kindness and interest in others in the body.
But not for me. I'm on duty every day, everywhere I go, constantly "investing" in people's lives, expected to blindly give and give and give to people who don't give back to me, all in hopes of some kind of harvest someday.
What ever happened to me just having some friends?
Why are the rules different for us?
Should they be?
Is this yet another layer in the proverbial onion of the 'Pastors Are Superheroes' American fan club?
Or am I just short on having enough of my own 'superheroes' to invest in me?

not playing by the rules

This week I was accosted in the parking lot after church by an angry 40-something year old male who demanded an explanation for why I hadn't allowed him to take home one of the children's Sunday School toys. I kid you not. I think some people go around looking for a power struggle. After repeatedly explaining that none of the children are allowed to make off with the classroom props, and pointing out that if we adopted a 'take it if you want it' mentality, that soon we'd have bare classrooms, I was at a loss.
Can you tell me why a grown adult can get away with acting so weird?
Is it because people avoid this person? Do other people pretend that this type of behavior is normal? I just don't like it that we have certain people in our sphere that we tolerate, and pretend are OK, who clearly are not.
Who clearly have boundary problems.
Is it so uncomfortable to say "The way you are acting right now is simply not acceptable, not courteous...Do you see anyone else acting as you are?
But no, we must all pass the buck. Smile thinly and hope they go off to bother someone else.
I know even crazy people need to be loved. But isn't love being willing to say to someone who is being openly rude, childish, selfish, demanding, or just plain nuts-'hey! It's not cool to do what you're doing. You've just got to stop it.'
I just don't like being fake.
It feels like certain people are elephants in the room.
But because we're Christians, we'd better be nice and pretend to love them.
The truth is we all breath an inward sigh of relief when they leave.
That can't be right.
Why are some people so much harder to serve, to even like, than others?
Is it because they know people don't like them, so they adopt an obnoxious personality to cover up loneliness and vulnerability? They've given up hope for being seen as people, so they turn into angry manipulative jerks?
God, please change my mind. Help me to see more value in people. I know You're personally proud of each person You've made, but I get lost sometimes in the madness.